Taylor Swift is so right about you.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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