Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize