Pants 0. Shit 1.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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