You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
