All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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