Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
