I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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