i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
