i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This house was built for laser tag.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
