Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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