Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
