direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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