Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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