problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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