Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Boobs are out for the taking
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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