No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
