I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
