i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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