He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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