At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
