If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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