sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
