Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize