I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize