im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
