that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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