It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize