Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
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