loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
