We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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