My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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