after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
