I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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