Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.

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(650): View more from California

How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?

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(818): View more from California

That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff

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(502): View more from Kentucky

So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.

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(718): View more from New York

We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.

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(314): View more from Missouri

BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE

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(214): View more from Texas

Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges

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(609): View more from New Jersey

God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.

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