C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
