return my video game
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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