i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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