Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
