so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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