If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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