sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
