i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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