break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
