i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
