You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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