do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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