New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
