Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
