This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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