I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
