I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
