Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize