How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
