Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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