I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
this just has baby written all over it
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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