shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
