Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
