i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize