i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
