yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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