did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
