Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
