community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
